Knock Me Down and I'll Just Come Back Stronger
When I made the move from small town Michigan to the big, bustling city of Los Angeles, nobody fully warned me about how cutthroat this town is.
I was prepared for the competition I knew I was about to be emerged in, pursuing dreams of being on-camera. I was ready to face the backed up traffic jams and torturous parking garages. And I even mentally prepared myself to have to pay $14 for a plate of toast.
But my knowledge on the crass, abrasive ways of the city, I was lacking in.
Now, seven years into the dog eat dog culture this Southern California coast brings, I see how naive I was.
Los Angeles is a hard place to live. Let's just call it like it is. It's stunning and full of life, excitement and opportunity... sure! But there's a dark side that exists as well.
This not so stellar side of L.A. is incredibly obvious in the entertainment industry and I've seen it out to play, full swing, this past year of my professional career.
While the last 365 plus days brought me the most success I've ever seen in my TV hosting career, it's also demonstrated how harsh the line of work I've chosen is.
First, I landed a gig as one of five hosts for a new talk show, which was eventually pitched to networks. The experience was full of twists and turns, both good and bad.
I made new, lasting friendships with my co-hosts and crew and obtained some killer footage for my reel. And most importantly, I grew in my abilities and learned how to form an opinion on a range of news topics and stand up for the two cents I gave.
But, I also witnessed how jealous other talent can be and how willing your competition is to throw you under the bus, just to get ahead. That was a sad realization, which colored me less than shocked.
Then I moved on to a station which offered massive opportunity to interview A-Lister's in a fun, dynamic setting. At first, I loved it! I found myself perched on the white couch of an adorable set, chatting up some of my favorite TV and music stars.
The downfall though came in the form of one of the station's higher ups, who aggressively made a pass at me and eventually stopped hiring me after I said no, disguising my ended time with the station as an unfortunate budget cut.
Did I believe him? No sir, not for a second, I did not.
A third whammy came when the outlet I had been hosting on for over a year swiftly let go of all of its' hosts, but two.
Thankfully, I knew it was my time to leave that role. So, the news went down easy for me. Nevertheless, ending my first in-studio hosting job was not ideal.
For the first time in a long time, I suddenly found myself without a on-camera gig. And for a host who struggled so much and fought so hard to land these roles, it's hard not to lose yourself in that reality or become self conscious and view yourself as talentless.
If any of that had happened to old Kate, she would have been a stressed out puddle of tears, dealing with an identity crisis.
I'm not old Kate any longer, though. Who I am now is a woman that's full of faith and patience. In the midst of all these hiccups, I was able to remain at peace and trust that something better was on its' way.
That doesn't mean those cuts and scrapes didn't affect me at all, of course there were moments of doubt and worry, but overall, I felt this overwhelming sense of hope.
I now know that God is narrating my story. He's taking me on a beautiful, winding journey and each route he points me to is better than the one before.
Looking back on my life and where I've been, I can see God's fingerprints all over every chapter.
He's interceded on my behalf and removed me from situations that I was never meant for, pointing me down a new road that doesn't even compare to the one I was traveling before. It's amazing, truly!
After losing my in-studio host job, I spent a lot of time praying for a new gig and a new agent. It didn't take long for God to deliver.
Yesterday I started my new role as a reporter for The DailyMail and also yesterday, I signed the contract for my new agency representation.
Neither of those things would have happened had I not let go of my past jobs and embraced an uncertain future, but one that I knew God was shaping.
I don't know where this job will lead or if it's the spot God wants me long term. Perhaps I'm only here to meet certain peoples or learn a specific lesson. I don't know.
But now, that uncertainty and wonder no longer fills my body with a sense of dread or anxiety, like it would have before. Instead, it's exhilarating and leaves me with a breath of adrenaline.
To anyone reading this: friend, coworker, hater, ex-employer.... anyone, at all - know this: no matter how many times I appear to get knocked down, those blows are actually only blessings and I will stand back up from them stronger and ready for what's next. Each. And. Every. Time.